Sunday, February 15, 2015

It takes all kinds

Prompted by my friend Ushasri:
(It's from a WIP novella about a dog who can read and understand words and has someone writing her memoirs)


That day, I went and stood by Maya's table, so that I could get some love. From here, I could clearly see her computer monitor. I was aghast! Her chat window had lots of emoticons. Oblivious of my literary and sight powers, Maya absently stroked my head while she kept typing in “blushing” icons. And at the top of the chat window was the username: sexygod.


The chat was quite inane—what did you have for breakfast? You were always good at cooking. I would die to eat from your hands. Oh, stop it. I’m serious. You know, things you’ve probably read a lot in books. From the conversations, it was unclear where they stood relationship-wise, I guess. And that was part of the elaborate mating dance.  


This was nice. 

I heard a noise in the kitchen, and Maya typed in, “I gotta go.” 
Sexy God says, “Where to? We were just getting started.” 
“My parents-in-law are downstairs. It looks like they need something.” 
“That’s ok. They can figure it out. Tell me, you’re alone, right?” 
“No. I have my friend here with me.” 
"He/She?” 
“It’s a she. Why? Do you want to know all about her now? She’s pretty,for sure.” 
“Really? Who is she?” 
“you’ve seen her too.” 
‘Really? Where? I am looking for pretty girls, you know.” 
“But this one’s a real bitch.” 
“I thought she was your friend?” 
“So what? Arjun’s not your friend? You don’t like him much, do you?” 
“Tell me more about this friend of yours.” 
“Why?” 
“Are you jealous?” 
“What do I care? I think you’ll be perfect for her.” 
“I know who’ll be perfect for me.” 
“Who?” 
“I’ll tell you later. Now, let’s know more about his mystery girl.” 
“She’s no mystery. She’s quite an open book.” 
“What is she wearing?” 
“How about nothing?’ 
“And what is she doing?” 
“She’s actually looking at me lovingly.” 
“You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m coming over right now, to watch.” 
"Hahahaha. Gotcha.” 
You get the drift. Haha. Very funny play on words. Making fun of me in the process. Maya was usually okay. She was behaving quite strangely today, though. 

You might wonder what the purpose of the chat conversation was. It’s funny—the first thing that my publisher said when he looked at my first draft was this: There are no dialogues in this book. Won’t sell this way. And then, the clincher: You know Paris Hilton’s dog’s book—it was full of dialogues. 

Oh well, the pain of being compared time and again, time and again. Why would there be dialogues in my book? I cannot understand what people say. So I had to bring in this chat conversation into the story. Without rhyme or reason. What can I say? Can’t a dog write what she wants? 

No comments: